Auto Racing

The Hyper-chippin' No-Fucks-Givin' Fender-Scrapin' Axle-Breakin' Waterhead Jamboree

The Hyper-chippin' No-Fucks-Givin' Fender-Scrapin' Axle-Breakin' Waterhead Jamboree

The happiest man in the Western hemisphere is swaying unsteadily on the corner of Coastal Highway and 56th Street in Ocean City, yelling at the occupants of a black Honda Accord that is crawling through jammed traffic six feet in front of him.

"DO A FUCKIN' BURNOUT!!!" he bellows at the laughing passengers, whose illegally tinted windows are rolled down so as to take in the atmosphere of this special Saturday night in early October.

It's nearing 11 p.m. A full red beard shrouds the happiest man's pale, fat young face. He is wearing sandals, cargo shorts, and a backpack filled with cans of Miller Lite, two of which he grips in his right hand like...

46°