Saturday: 4th Annual Kiddie Ball Drop

Dec. 31

Is your kid a total fucking nerd? Can they not stay up until midnight? Do they prefer going to bed early? Are they best described as "Niles Crane-esque"? Or worse, are you one of those wet sandwich fun police parents who makes your kid go to sleep early even on New Year's Eve? If so, then the Kiddie Scoop Ball Drop, a toddler-friendly fascimile of the ball drop, complete with milk jug ball and a complimentary sparkling cider toast is for you and your lame kid! If you're a cool parent though, bring your kid anyways and then let them celebrate the New Year twice over and teach them the important lesson of going too hard and double or tripling up on parties and partying on a night designed for such a thing. 8 p.m., The Charmery, 801 W. 36th St., (410) 814-0493, (Brandon Soderberg)

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