Altscape: Recommended alternative Artscape themes

Putting together the country’s largest free arts festival seems a formidable undertaking to say the least, and hats off to the Baltimore Office of Promotion & The Arts for pulling it off year after year. That said, there is room for improvement—case in point, the themes. This year, it’s “Camp Artscape: Adventure Awaits,” and before that, we’ve had outer space, water, international, and the tagline “Join The Movement,” to name a few. In a world of thematic possibilities that lend themselves to potentially unforgettable experiences, that’s some weak sauce. But your alternative weekly is here with a supply of alternative themes to sustain Artscape for decades to come. I’ll take that check now, BOPA. (Maura Callahan)

  • Surrealism
  • Cages
  • Green Mount Cemetery
  • Things that go boom
  • John Waterslides
  • Marxism
  • Bondage
  • Safety
  • Stephanie Rawlings-Blake
  • Fyre Festival
  • The entire life’s work of David Duchovny
  • Things that are slippery
  • Club kids
  • The performance of gender
  • Funny hats
  • “Mad Max”
  • The art of cruelty
  • Art references in Beyoncé’s  “Lemonade” visual album
  • Surveillance
  • Casinos
  • Health care
  • Things that are smaller or larger than they should be
  • Roman military composts
  • Vacation bible school
  • Gentrification
  • “Saw III”
  • Kony 2012
  • Flat earthers
  • Mystery flavor
  • The decline and fall of empires
  • Port Covington
  • How to say I’m sorry
  • Love means never having to say you’re sorry
  • Sinkholes
  • A post-City Paper Baltimore
  • Emotional labor
  • “Vibrancy”
  • The separation of church and state
  • The Schnapp Shop
  • Cat tongues
  • Audre Lorde
  • The Lord
  • If Trump hadn’t won the election
  • Sinking into the ocean
  • “A Room of One’s Own”
  • Heaven and Hell
  • Bill Gilmore
  • Everything but rap and country
  • Only rap and country
  • Savage Love
  • Formerly Baltimore-based companies
  • Formerly Baltimore-based bands
  • David Attenborough
  • 4chan
  • Low-budget Super Bowl Halftime
  • Silicon
  • Ideas stolen from women artists by men
  • Alternative facts
  • Surgery
  • Climate change
  • Feudalism
  • Russia
  • Laundry
  • Winter sports
  • Water sports
  • Toxic masculinity
  • “Snakes on a Plane”
  • Snakes
  • Snake eggs
  • Being swallowed whole by a snake
  • Snake ghost
  • Vans Warped Tour presented by Journeys
  • The respiratory system
  • Vulnerability
  • Florida
  • Revisionist history
  • #hashtags
  • German Expressionist cinema
  • The Battle of Gettysburg
  • The Upside-Down
  • The First Amendment
  • Baltimore Link
  • Just slip ‘n slides
  • Kindergarten
  • Baltimore Twitter
  • Avril Lavigne death conspiracies
  • College course on “The Wire”
  • Xanax
  • Presidential candidate Martin O’Malley
  • Who?
  • Social media marketing
  • Royal Farms
  • Apple
  • Everyone tripping wears a uniform
  • Scaggsville, Maryland
  • Memoir
  • Teenagers who were born after 9/11
  • The Blair Witch Project
  • Police shutting down children’s lemonade and snowball stands
  • Half-baked wokeness
  • 2016
  • The limitations of language
  • Good boys
  • Richard Spencer getting punched memes
  • Brutalist architecture
  • Johns Hopkins
  • Garlic scapes
  • Dear diary . . .
  • Emails
  • Currency
  • Mr. Trash Wheel’s harvest
  • Double standards
  • It’s a lot
  • Early internet randomcore
  • The uncanny
  • Palindromes

Additional reporting by Moses Hubbard and Rebekah Kirkman

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