Mr. Wrong By Joe MacLeod

Mr. Wrong: Today's column features a valuable prize and you probably did not win it

City Paper

A couple-few weeks ago right here in the metaphysical space of The Mr. Wrong Column we examined the endless irritation provided by the “Point of Purchase” (POP) displays found in many of our major modern supermarkets such as but not limited to the 41st Street Giant and the Whole Foods Market (two locations in The City That Eats Its Weight in Groceries), and I got mad at the POP, because the goddamn things tend to be placed in a way so as to interfere with me and my grocery-making activities.

A Careful Reader wrote in to harmonize with my feels in re: POP, and also to do a little self-congrats and self -affirmation with respect to the location of the store which was identified in the column in question only by its initials (OK, all of the letters), to wit:

I knew you were talking about the 41st Giant before I got to the end of your column!! Go me!! And right on... The POPs are annoying. If I walked by the bananas in produce I’m sure not gonna want them if I pass them in the cereal aisle!Good day!Christy

See, now this is a good Reader letter, it is Participating with the Mr. Wrong column, and I am not running it because it is in agreement with my views toward the scourge of POP, I am running it because it contains an examination of my Thesis Statement about how the POP is a Bad Thing. If anybody wrote in to give me some sorta pro-POP argument, I probably woulda ran it as a counterpoint, but I am going to take this as a Sign that I am 100 percent correct, and the POP is Evil.

I mean, I even got a letter from an Authorized Representative of one of the Supermarkets mentioned, and if it please the Gentle Readers, I will now present it as Exhibit B:

We read your article about grievances with an unnamed supermarket and got a chuckle out of it, as we are sometimes guilty of the same things.We’d love to send you a gift card to buy your next luxurious meal from Prepared Foods (or anything else you might want). Can you send me a mailing address?Jodi Kielman (MA MTW)

I have a lot of respect for Jodi from Whole Foods for writing in, and honestly, it’s not a contest, but nobody wrote in from Giant, you know? Especially since I have a Specific Complaint with the Giant in terms of the discontinuation of the Table Talk Pies supply. Nobody reached out from Giant, man. I mean, I’ll still shop there, but it’s disappointing, you know?

So wait, there’s more, and you will not be surprised by what happens next. I sent Jodi from the Whole Foods my address, and in the interests of Journalistic Transparency, I informed Jodi I would be mentioning the details of any Wrong/Whole correspondence in a future iteration of The Mr. Wrong Column, so as to be Journalistically Transparent, because The Mr. Wrong Column is Journalism! Right? I know! Har!

I provided Jodi with the U.S. Mail address of the Mr. Wrong column, which for the record is:

501 N. Calvert St.
Baltimore, MD 21278

And shortly thereafter, I received, after forwarding, a lovely Real Mail letter from Jodi, who, as far as I know, is still employed as the Marketing Team Leader of the Whole Foods Market, Mount Washington, Mid Atlantic Region, as stated on the business card included with the missive, which reads:

Hey Mr. Wrong!
Hope to see you soon!

The “Enjoy!” part refers to a Gift Card, or, technically, a LUNCH MONEY card, with a stated value of $100, which, according to the rules on the back of the card, may be “applied to your purchase from soup to nuts,” but it’s not gonna be my purchase, because as the Owner and Sole Proprietor of The Mr. Wrong Column, it would be Journalistically Unethical for me to enjoy the fruits (or nuts) of this gift card. That’s because, in case you are still laughing from the part where I put Mr. Wrong Column = Journalism, if I accept this card from the Whole Foods and go and get some food there, then it looks like the Mr. Wrong Column took a card from the Whole Foods in exchange for some Free Advertising, and probably The Mr. Wrong Column is in the tank for the Whole Foods! Then you, the Gentle Reader, would have to take all the stuff The Mr. Wrong Column tells you about Groceries with a Grain of Salt! And maybe some pepper! And hot sauce!

Well look, nobody owns The Mr. Wrong Column! The Mr. Wrong Column is for The People! And also The Readers! Which I hope is the same thing! Deeper still, The Mr. Wrong Column is for people who Write The Wrong, and so I am pleased to announce the winner of this Instant Contest featuring $100 worth of Whole Foods is Gentle Reader and Letter Writer Christy. Please write in with your mailing address, Christy, and enjoy. 

No prize tweets: @MRWRONGCOLUMN

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