Mr. Wrong By Joe MacLeod

Mr. Wrong: The Gentle Readers Write Letters to The Mr. Wrong Column

City Paper

Since it is The Holidays and stuff, I’m gonna take this opportunity to Ho Ho Ho all over the place in the form of a big fat present (to myself) by opening up my column-inches of newsprint and pixel-whatevers of Internets to some of the Gentle Readers of The Mr. Wrong Column, who will now step up and write most of my column for me!

Seriously, Thanksgiving is over for the 2014, but I am eternally Thanksgivingful for people who take the time not only to read The Mr. Wrong Column, but to then also pick up that big metaphorical fancy quill pen with the writing-feather and send in their questions and/or comments. So thanks, Gentle Readers, from the bottom of my column for reading The Mr. Wrong Column, and more importantly, thanks for writing (to) The Mr. Wrong Column, har! 

I just wanted to let you know that I think you are far and away the funniest writer on the internet. 
— Mary B.

Wow, Mary B., I don’t know exactly what inspired you to lay that wonderful and appreciative remark on me, but thanks, and I hope I was being funny on purpose, but if it was an accident, I’ll take it, OK?

is it Right to read Wrong at work?????
SHHHHHH you can see from my address that i work for the state. everyone dumps on us state employees but it’s FINALLY my lunch time, so i Can do this. yes???
and i’m soon to be downsized due to shrunken funds. my friends know i can’t get much shorter than i am wi-out disappearing all together. so soon to be, i’ll have to be careful where i walk, so i don’t get crushed by their biggo full-time feet.
yes- i did get a shortie vacation. the weather co-operated which was divine! no booze. no drugs. even no 2nd job work which made it TRUE vaca. lotsa garden weeding, sleeping in, talking back to my parrot. oh! a shortie weekend in nyc staying cheap in the lower east side. just like home! but with meals ‘out’.
will look you up online again sometime during a late lunch.
— Nik S.

I am very sorry you are downsized, Nik S., and I am glad you are conscientious enough to state you are reading The Mr. Wrong Column on your Personal Time, and it does my heart good to see you are able to appreciate the important things in life: stealing a little time off when you can, appreciating some fine weather, and talking to your parrot, which I endorse wholeheartedly, all of those activities.

This next one is in response to the very real and true installment of The Mr. Wrong Column (“Spectators Who Vomit During Baltimore Orioles Games Should be Summarily Ejected for Reasons of Public Health,” July 7) which had the topic of attending a Baltimore Orioles baseball game and we sat way too close to somebody who barfed all over everything and it was disgusting.

This is definitely one of your most hilarious columns ever!
— Linda B., Esq. 

See, now here’s where I’m going to disagree with Linda B. a little bit, because I’m pretty sure I was not trying to be hilarious, but at the same time I am glad to have provided a moment of hilarity, so thank you for your positive response to a revolting episode in my career as a member of the Paid Attendance at Oriole Park at Camden Yards.

Today was the first time I read your column and I liked it. You are very funny and real.
After reading, I too felt the Baltimore breeze and the smell of fresh baked bread even though I am in Florida and it’s still pretty hot here. Thanks for the entertainment.
— Rissa

Thank you Rissa, and I’m glad you had a Positive Experience with your first reading of the Mr. Wrong Column. Please try and remember that feeling when you read another one! Also, I am not sure when I wrote about baking bread, but now I am super hungry from some fresh baked bread, ohh.

My name is Pamela and I am writing to you regarding your piece dated Oct. 22nd entitled ‘You need to learn to relax’. It is a rare opportunity that I see articles which ‘hit on the nail on the head’ and share wit as well as wisdom. Your article did all of these things. I love the dinosaur analogy and even more importantly your message that it is possible to ‘take care of you and your and get what you need without being mean to anybody’. Love your philosophy and please keep the good articles coming. I will make sure that I share your article with my coworkers!
— Pamela C.

Pamela C., besides the money, notes like yours are the reason I continue here at The Mr. Wrong Column. I am really happy you enjoyed the dinosaur analogy and its message of how everybody needs to relax, and I hope you are relaxing right now, and I think I am gonna start a band called The Dinosaur Analogy.

The Fall of U.S. Fracking?
Just read your column today in the City Paper after reading this additional article about fracking yesterday. Good timing on your part!  Well done.
What are we doing??? Geez.
—Suzy F.

Suzy F., first of all, thank you for writing in, and I know exactly what we are doing, and I’m pretty sure we (as in U.S.) are not gonna stop anytime soon, eh? Speaking of not stopping, I hope all you Gentle Readers never stop enjoying or at least reading The Mr. Wrong Column, and I would like to also urge any of you who have never done so to write in to the below email address and voice any general observations or even your comments or concerns with The Mr. Wrong Column, which is now in its 16th year of being a column, holy crap! 


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