Best Product Placement: Western District

Earlier this year, the now-infamous Western District police station was renovated and reimagined by Scott Plank’s Warhorse Cities. The station now boasts new entryway stairs featuring a quote from Thurgood Marshall; public Wi-Fi, restrooms, water refill stations, new locker rooms, and oh yeah, a ridiculous amount of Under Armour logos (Scott Plank’s brother is Kevin, of course), which are often the same size as BPD logos—a shocking equivalency that cops and everybody else would be offended by if it weren’t their much-loved bro-wear brand. All of this was done, mind you, using $4.5 million in charitable gifts (the math on who gave what and how remains a little shaky) to create a half-woke (words imprinted in the concrete walkway that surrounds the front of the station house include “Togetherness,” “Home,” “Hope,” “Rebirth,” “Engagement,” “Trust,” “Family,” and “Sustainability”) and neoliberal okey-doke (literature and Scott Plank himself referred to arrestees as “customers”). And as we all know, two years ago, Freddie Gray, a “customer” by Plank’s definition, had a custody experience that ended in his death. That was in a transport van, not a cell—but it was under supervision of Western District police officers, who now have a nice UA-branded station.

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