520 Park Ave., (443) 835-1659, ceremonycoffee.com
We don’t think it’s officially a requirement to have your Apple laptop open if you sit in the window seats at Ceremony, but it is, let’s say, customary. If you walk by, a bunch of glowing logos will gleam at you through the window—which is fine of course; that’s what coffee shops are for. But it fits the aesthetic of the joint, which dubs itself as a “pro shop.” What the fuck does that mean? We thought that was where you bought fishing or golf gear. To be fair, the vibe at Ceremony is as much zen as an Apple store, but the super high-end consumerism is as far from the spirit of chopping wood and fetching water as it gets. They do have some great coffee and that nitro shit has got us through a couple tight deadline all-nighters, but it is best consumed elsewhere—because it’s hard to focus when you feel like you’re part of a commercial.