Best Mirage: 10,000 families

Some people do it for love. Some people do it for money. Others still, for God. But $RB gets up in the morning for the 10,000 families, the ones she hoped to attract to the city within a decade. Unfortunately, like the God-getter-uppers, $RB's raison d’etre is an illusion. She is not working for 10,000 families who actually live in the city, which would mean actually providing services and making the city a better place to live. No, she lives for 10,000 families who don't even live in Baltimore, which means that what she really puts all her energy into is advertising. It's those 10,000 goddamn families that make our politicians more concerned about the city's image than its reality. In order to draw these mirage families into existence, the mayor has engaged in the dark art of conjuring a mirage city that is more concerned with PR campaigns than with reality. If you're a real person who wants to come to a real city, we'd love to have you, but we're sick of all these goddamn mirages. So fuck you, you 10,000 motherfuckers who don't even exist, and your nonexistent kids and dogs and cats and grandparents too.

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