Best Bodyguards: CNN

Almost immediately after the death of Freddie Gray, when the protests had not begun to be called either uprisings or riots, CNN and all the other national douchebag news dudes arrived in Sandtown towing bodyguards. How objective can you be when your initial assumption is that your anchors have to be protected from the people they are reporting on? Often, they were burly union-looking dudes, but once, marching to the FOP3 lodge—the same march that Rachel Dolezal tried to commandeer—they had a fucker in a brown suit that looked like he'd just stepped off the set of Barney Miller. Next time, if you can't come without your security guards, just don't come at all. We'll be fine without you.

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