Best Raven

City Paper

The Ravens had a pretty terrible offseason, in terms of dudes getting into trouble with the law (see “Best ‘Longest Yard’ Remake”). So this year we lowered the bar for Best Raven to guys on the team who have not hit their wife or girlfriend, as Rice was indicted and suspended for doing after video surfaced of him dragging his unconscious then-fiancee out of the elevator of an Atlantic City casino. No, we’re not looking for the number of touchdowns or tackles, or any sort of measure of athleticism. This award goes out to all the members of the Baltimore Ravens who can perform the very standard, very basic, very necessary act of not striking a woman. Oops, we also have to give this out to Not Terrell Suggs, too. The Ravens eventually terminated Rice’s contract on Sept. 8, only after a new video surfaced on TMZ that showed the running back striking his then-fiancée. Here’s hoping the rest of the team is paying attention and learns that committing domestic violence will send you in search of a new line of work.

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