Since Poe's time, many have debated the existence of Mole People, those underground dwellers who subsist on rats, garbage, and (it is said) human flesh. As Baltimore's water infrastructure disintegrates from age and lack of maintenance, the debate is about to be settled. Two blocks of downtown Light Street were closed for five weeks after a huge hole opened up in July, the result of a ruptured water main. With two or three water-main breaks reported each day, Baltimore's pipes are among the nation's worst. And-despite a billion-dollar repair effort that's been underway for a decade-they don't appear to be improving. The Monument Street sinkhole, a 20-foot-deep gash that opened up just east of Johns Hopkins Hospital in July, is becoming a permanent fixture. Once filled, it reopened in late August, after heavy rains washed out the underground culvert. That was two weeks after another hole opened up at Frederick and East Lynne avenues-due to another 10-inch water main-break cut water service to a hundred houses. How could this be anything but sabotage? Obviously the only viable solution is a war on the Mole People.