Best Coin Smasher

JFK Memorial Highway, Mile Marker 97, (800) 968-787

This is not only the best in Baltimore-until a travel hut in the Kalahari adds a machine that stamps the Dorf onto the back of a rupee, this is the best damn coin smasher on the face of God's Green Earth. Next time you're headed North (it's not in the southbound lot) to take in the majestic toll booths of Delaware, stop into the Chesapeake house, bring a 30-pound sack of change to machine four, and get to work. Each machine has four images so you'll have to choose, Orioles, Black-Eyed Susan, Chesapeake Bay, or the sad, mustachioed face of Frank Fuckin' Zappa. Until the U.S. mint wises up and makes actual Zappa money, the Chesapeake House Travel Plaza has got you covered. And if you choose the flower, you're dead to us.

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