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Graduating seniors make last-ditch effort to milk elitism in the face of inevitable demise

Graduating seniors make last-ditch effort to milk elitism in the face of inevitable demise

In ergonomic chairs bearing their university's colors, students sat wide-eyed and eager on graduation day. Partly because someone at the end of the seventh row swiped a handful of pills from her mother's Kate Spade bag, by the time the ceremony began the Anthropology Department was almost as high as their field's unemployment rate. Around them photographers their parents had hired snapped pictures to capture their enraptured expressions. The near-graduates expressed envy for those with divorced parents; they got two photographers and therefore twice the amount of photos to post on Instagram.

A good fraction of the undergrads donned decorated graduation caps...

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