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OH, BALTIMORE, AIN'T IT COLD JUST TO DRINK?
The City’s sweatin’ and it don’t know why. OK, we know why, it’s Summertime in the City That Swelters, and after mowing all 3 square feet of that lawn in front of our rowhome, we need a cold one. So thirsty! We want to wrap our lips around the rim of a frosty mug of Liquid Winter and transport at least part of our blistered bodies to a colder, happier place, free from the Global Warming of Polar Ice Caps crumbling into the sea. Actually, we found the Ice Caps! They are apparently lowering the temperature of the frosted mugs of Budweiser served at the cold-as-ice Pulaski Liquor Emporium, now three-time winner of our Drinky Reindeer Game, shattering with icy alcoholic shards the previous record held by last year’s chilly champs at McCabe’s.
June 11, 2014