Epic Cop Fail: Or How Obama Won The Election, and I Spent The Night in Central Booking

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Epic Cop Fail

Or How Obama Won The Election, and I Spent The Night in Central Booking

Tim Castlen

A crowd of revelers gathered on the streets of Charles Village on Election Night.

By Michael M. Hughes | Posted 11/12/2008

It was sometime between 2 and 3 a.m., and I was handcuffed and sitting inside a Baltimore police paddy wagon.

"Officer," I yelled.

"What?" a cop brusquely answered from outside the van.

"Officer, I need to use the bathroom. I really have to go." It was the third time I'd asked since my arrest, over an hour earlier. It was no joke--my bladder felt as if it was going to rupture.

"You'll have to wait 'til we get downtown," he answered.

I grimaced. Behind my back, my wrists chafed against sharp, plastic cuffs. I squeezed my legs together. "I think I'm going to piss myself," I said to my only companion, a skinny kid in khakis and a pink oxford with a popped collar. He shook his head but didn't answer. My entire body began shaking, and I doubled over, sliding to my knees on the floor in pain. I remembered reading about a study in which volunteers were paid good money to piss their pants, and none could do it--such is the power of social conditioning.

"Fuck," I said, and felt warmth spreading between my legs.

It struck me, then--the pathetic and surreal absurdity of my situation. Why was I, a 42-year-old husband and father of two young daughters, a senior employee of Johns Hopkins, a freelance journalist, and a law-abiding, civic-minded guy, sitting in my piss-soaked underwear in the back of a paddy wagon outside the Northern District police station?

The day had begun with such promise.

That day I served as a Baltimore City election judge. I didn't do it for the measly paycheck but considered it a chance to connect with my neighbors. A handful of people were lined up when I arrived at 5:45 a.m., and an hour later the line stretched around the inside of the school and out along the sidewalk. The mood was electric. I saw lots of familiar faces and many, many new ones.

Some I'll never forget. A bearded 75-year-old white man holding a Noam Chomsky book said to me, "I didn't think I'd be around for the last election. And I know I won't be around for the next one. But this one . . ." he smiled.

A visually impaired black woman asked me and another judge to read the ballot for her. We read it all (yes, every last word of the bond issues) and when we finished, she pressed the button and turned to us with tears in her eyes. "That's the first time I ever voted," she said, and hugged us. My eyes welled up, too.

A smiling blonde woman approached the polls and explained to us that she had flown home to vote, in person--from Sudan.

As soon as the polls closed, I put on a bootleg Obama T-shirt I'd bought on Greenmount Avenue. It was over-the-top--an enormous image of Barack's face covering most of the shirt.

Later that night, I watched on a friend's television as a wave of blue swept over America. Eight of my friends had gathered, and after Obama's acceptance speech in Chicago, we heard car horns, whooping, and cheers from 33rd Street.

"Let's go," my friend Dan said.

I haven't seen such spontaneous celebration in the streets since the Ravens won the Superbowl. All around us cars honked, while people cheered and chanted "Obama!" and "Yes, we can!" We noticed an enormous gathering in North Charles Village, and as we approached several of the people in the crowd saw my Obama shirt and started cheering.

"This is amazing!" Dan said.

And it was. The crowd was an amalgam of the forces that had swept Obama into power: multiracial, young, old, straight, gay, with one commonality--they were all smiling. Students were holding American flags aloft with pride. Students! Ecstatic! About a presidential race! Strangers hugged and danced and high-fived one another. Tears flowed.

I need to write about this, I thought. I need to remember all of it, and document it, because it will never happen again.

Even the police were swept up in the mood, smiling and posing for photos. An occasional handful of students would venture into the streets to high-five enthusiastic, honking motorists, only to be waved back by the police, but otherwise, it was as peaceful and well-behaved as a high school pep rally.

Then I looked up the street, to where the police had blocked off St. Paul Street with almost a dozen cruisers. A phalanx of about a dozen cops had lined up.

They began marching, and I saw one of the cops holding a pile of plastic flexicuffs. No one had a bullhorn or a PA. They just moved into the crowd and started yelling at people. There was no clear officer in charge, just a group of belligerent, angry police.

My brother came running up the sidewalk. "Some guy just got tasered!" he said. I saw some cops walking back toward us, so I crossed the street to stay out of their way. The first arrestees were being led to the paddy wagon. I pulled out my cell phone and started snapping pictures.

A beefy officer saw me taking photos and approached. I held my hands at my side and said, "I'm a journalist. I'm just taking pictures."

He slapped my cell phone out of my hand and grabbed my shirt. "Well, write a nice, long story about this," he said, spinning me around as another officer cuffed me. I was in the paddy wagon before I could even comprehend what was happening. After processing at Northern District I was thrown into a concrete cell, strip-searched, fingerprinted, and subject to the singular degradation of a long night spent in Central Booking.

To the Baltimore City Police: I have met plenty of decent, respectful cops in this city. I could single out those who arrested and cuffed me, but I won't. This isn't about individuals--throughout the ordeal, I met many who were appalled at the behavior of their comrades. One complimented my Obama T-shirt and loosened my cuffs. Another strip-searched me while shaking his head in disgust. "Welcome to the Baltimore City Police," he said.

To Mayor Dixon: I hold you accountable for the appalling, irresponsible behavior of your police force. They turned a peaceful, orderly, euphoric celebration of democracy into a brutal, embarrassing fiasco. People spontaneously celebrated in cities across our country--indeed, the world--without major incidents. Baltimore failed. Shame on you if you don't address this and apologize. And oh, by the way, thanks for not returning any of my calls despite promising to do so.

Most importantly, to the voters of Precinct 12, Ward 8, and the students, professors, teachers, and other citizens who gathered in Charles Village to celebrate the end of eight years of divisiveness and toxic politics and to inaugurate the beginning of an era of new possibilities: thank you. Because of you, I know my country, and my city, is in good hands. You made me proud.

Finally, to the officer who dared me to write about my arrest: Here you go, sir--as requested. I just hope you read it.

Mobtown Beat archives

More from Michael M. Hughes

Sacred Intentions (10/8/2008)
Inside The Johns Hopkins Psilocybin Studies

zoof

3 comments.

Member since 11/12/2008

"Finally, to the officer who dared me to write about my arrest: Here you go, sir--as requested. I just hope you read it."

I wonder if he knows how to read. And why not single out those officers? People need to be held accountable at every level. Yes, ultimately the mayor is responsible but each of the participating officers is individually responsible as well. Spontaneous, peaceful celebrations all over the country and only in Baltimore do we have a silly, ridiculous non-incident incident.

Posted 11.12.2008 7:44 AM

BlackArchitect

1 comments.

Member since 11/12/2008

Dear Judge,

However illtererate these officers may be; they can hide behind what they have been calling a "failure to obey." It has been abused since day one, but when you find arrests with no charges, and victims being sent to central booking; the facts speak for themselves. You may want to contact Mitch Kaplan, esq. in NY, who is a part of the ACLU's class action suit from 2006 against the BCPD. Don't stop writing.

Armando

Posted 11.12.2008 5:54 PM

Masi

1 comments.

Member since 11/13/2008

Michael,

You and the others must single these criminals out. They clearly have abused their power. You and other citizens were harassed and abused for celebrating Democracy. These officers will now proceed to file false police reports further abusing their positions and breaking more laws. You must let justice take it's course. I can't prove it but I just bet they are McCain supporters and were angry at their loss. There is more to it though. These are the same officers that will shoot someone later on down the road and then blame the victim. These officers are DANGEROUS. You must exercise and defend your rights! Haven't we had enough from people in authority abusing their trusted positions, spitting on us and the Constitution?

Posted 11.13.2008 3:56 AM

bluewombat

2 comments.

Member since 11/13/2008

I called the mayor's office and spoke with someone in constituent services. They said you hve to

Posted 11.13.2008 12:38 PM

bluewombat

2 comments.

Member since 11/13/2008

Ack -- let's try this again.

I called the mayor's office and spoke with someone in consituent services. They said you have to file a complaint with the Internal Affairs Division of the Police Department. I went on about the outrageous nature of the police conduct in this case, but the woman I spoke with seemed pretty ho-hum and unruffled about the whole thing.

I agree with the previous poster who said you should name the officer(s) involved. If you're concerned about police reprisals, that would be a legitimate reason not to do so, I suppose, but I don't see why you should be gentlemanly toward them when they were thuggish with you.

Sorry there isn't more I can do to be helpful -- by the way, I'm in Los Angeles, caught the last few seconds of your appearance on the Thom Hartmann show yesterday, and my do-gooder instincts kicked in.

Posted 11.13.2008 12:44 PM

DQ_CV

1 comments.

Member since 11/13/2008

On one hand, given the way you were particularly treated, you absolutely should file a complaint with the Police's Internal Affairs Division as bluewombat suggests.

On the other hand, I believe you are talking about the same celebration that was at 2:00 AM nearby Union Memorial, and the loud yelling was disturbing patients and restricting pathways where ambulances can and do frequently move through. Police asked people to break it up, and some celebrators told them to "f*** off" (maybe not within personal earshot of you, but they did) and so the police had to break it up, and that's exactly what they should have done.

Some individual cops' behavior was very wrong and they need to be held accountable, but they were not wrong to break up the celebration to begin with. You do have a right to celebrate peaceably. You do NOT have a right to block pathways for emergency vehicles and disturb the rest of the sick, injured and dying.

I'm not surprised Mayor Dixon hasn't said anything under these circumstances. She has apologized for police brutality in the past, but given in this case where there were parties on both sides that were in the wrong, she'd probably need to investigate carefully before saying anything in one regard or the other.

Posted 11.13.2008 2:59 PM

zoof

3 comments.

Member since 11/12/2008

@DQ_CV:

Would it not have been more intelligent if the police had asked the revelers to move somewhere where a noisy celebration would not be a problem (like the Dell for example). Instead they decided to play storm trooper. Not one of the 15 cops thought making random arrests was a bad idea? Whether or not a couple of revelers told the cops to "f*** off" is not really relevant since not a single charge was filed.

Posted 11.13.2008 4:43 PM

magarianarthur

2 comments.

Member since 11/13/2008

The charging document is at least as believable as your slant on the events. Next time, listen to the police and don't act the fool. It seems you could benefit from a tampon, you poodle walking, hand wringing, bed wetting sob sister.

Posted 11.13.2008 6:44 PM

Amadeo

115 comments.

Member since 4/10/2008

@ Zoof

I don't agree with what the cops did, but telling them to f*** off is relevant. Cops are authority and as such they do certain things and behave a certain way to maintain the perception of that authority. Individual cops may reason (or not) but in groups there is no reasoning. They act as a unit and it tends toward baseline actions...order and arrest for non-compliance. It's not a good thing...but it is what is.

Posted 11.13.2008 6:45 PM

tims

2 comments.

Member since 11/13/2008

You got what you deserved and I'm glad you pissed yourself. I live on St. Paul across from Union Memorial and the screaming and chanting was bullshit at 2 am when people have to get up for work at 5am.

let's not take into account your absolute disregard for the people who live in the neighborhood then certain individuals were telling cops to fuck off.

What right do you or any of those students have to walk over my rights?

Posted 11.13.2008 8:02 PM

tims

2 comments.

Member since 11/13/2008

Another thing. If you consider yourself a journalist get a real camera and credentials and maybe the police will recognize you as such when they are arresting you!

We all know camera phones scream journalist.

Posted 11.13.2008 8:10 PM

Count Tousser

258 comments.

Member since 8/21/2007

Yeah, if you have real credentials the cops won't hurt you...tho they roughed-up Amy Goodman at the RNC...Oops, another theory blown!

Posted 11.14.2008 10:10 AM

Caro

1 comments.

Member since 11/14/2008

I was at St. Paul and 33rd that night. I left once it became obvious that the police were going to intervene. The celebration was amazing and peaceful, but I would certainly NOT call it orderly. People spilled into the streets and started approaching & surrounding cars at the intersection, refusing to get out of the way of traffic, etc etc. While the arrests and the treatment of the people who were detained might have been deplorable, both parties were in the wrong here.

Posted 11.14.2008 10:19 AM

joemama

3 comments.

Member since 11/15/2008

It is appalling what happened, but this has been happening in this country for quite some time, and not just in Baltimore. And trust me, if you think the divisiveness is going to disappear, all you have to do is look at the election results (and the widespread voter fraud, this time committed by the Democrats/Acorn, etc., which you will never hear about). Unfortunately, all you did was substitute a fascist, neo-con administration with a marxist, elitist one. Obama is as corrupt as the Bushs and Clintons, you nor the other revelers didn't do your homework. When will the people of this country ever learn?

This nonsense is going to continue, especially if Obama implements his 'Civilian Security Force' equal in strength to the military. Think Brownshirts/Gestapo. Think required volunteerism by high school and college students. Think citizen snitches.

Congratulations, Amerika.

Posted 11.15.2008 6:33 PM

joemama

3 comments.

Member since 11/15/2008

Congratulations, Amerika.

Posted 11.15.2008 6:34 PM

joemama

3 comments.

Member since 11/15/2008

Congratulations, Amerika.

Posted 11.15.2008 6:35 PM

wordgirl

1 comments.

Member since 11/15/2008

Wow, I'm amazed at the anger and suspicion of the opposing parties commenting here. I am sad to hear that even when we are on the cusp of a new and better turn at real democracy in our country, angry losers are still sniping about spilt milk.

Michael, I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you; be aware that as a journalist you have done the most powerful thing you could have done (aside from publishing the names of those disgraceful, hateful policemen who arrested you), which is to TELL your story. Know that there are thousands of us standing behind you, on your side, and wishing you the best.

God bless all of us who fought the GOOD fight in the ballot boxes across our great nation, and used our democracy to utterly reject the criminal hijacking of our Americanism these last 8 years.

I can't wait for January 20th, 2008.

Posted 11.15.2008 9:32 PM

Count Tousser

258 comments.

Member since 8/21/2007

I can't wait for January 20th, 2008.--Didn't that happen already?

Posted 11.16.2008 1:48 PM

deldell

1 comments.

Member since 11/16/2008

The politics of meanness is one of the most unfortunate legacies of the last administration. For all the failings of the Clinton years(and the Clintons are NOT spotless), they never stooped to the truly disgraceful level of public discourse we have seen in recent years.

The vituperation of many of the commentors on this column is truly unnecessary, but it reveals a dangerous aspect of public discourse in American life.

Posted 11.16.2008 5:01 PM

zoof

3 comments.

Member since 11/12/2008

@Amadeo

Well then arrest and charge the ones that said "f*** off"... Oh, I see, no one was charged.

Posted 11.17.2008 12:13 PM

Amadeo

115 comments.

Member since 4/10/2008

@ zoof

Wouldn't be the first tiem people were locked up and not charged...or charged with "resisting arrest"(only). You're still trying to take a logical approach that might have worked with an individual when you're dealing with a group.

Posted 11.17.2008 3:03 PM

rocker

1 comments.

Member since 11/18/2008

You may want to know the city ordinances next time you think to go out and disturb the peace. Those police officers were doing their job, and to be blunt, probably didn't want to be out @ 2:00am when I am sure a large portion of them were there on the off shift. If you are complaining now, wait until we live in the land of the USSA. That is what you all voted in when you voted Obama. So until next time....Comrades.

Posted 11.18.2008 11:13 PM

Count Tousser

258 comments.

Member since 8/21/2007

Yeah! The police ALWAYS obey city ordinances to the LETTER! They're real STICKLERS about preserving our freedom until we just happen to violate one o'them city ordinances & then gosh darn it, they've got to go out & earn some overtime pay bashin' a few heads & Tasering someone who may have a medical condition & die, but oh well! PS To all you fuckers writing in supporting the local gestapo, how about identifying whether you are police officers, family members of police officers, or in any way connected to the dept. & DON'T LIE....

Posted 11.19.2008 11:28 AM

Count Tousser

258 comments.

Member since 8/21/2007

Well? Anyone who wrote in supporting the police over this incident, ready to confirm (or deny) that you ARE police? Or related to them? I'm WAAAAIIIII-TIIIING....

Posted 11.23.2008 12:10 PM

Patriotic Nam Vet

1 comments.

Member since 11/23/2008

Mr. Hughes, I can only say that you have helped elect a non American who will foster many more "Brown Shoe" tactics. What you experienced is only a mild example of what Nobama's Socialist Muslim policies will bring to our once proud and free country. I have NO sympathy for you!

Posted 11.23.2008 7:25 PM

Amadeo

115 comments.

Member since 4/10/2008

@ PVT

Wow...I...Really?!?!?!....just...wow.

Posted 11.24.2008 7:25 PM

DrgnTrance

1 comments.

Member since 11/25/2008

I am amazed at the amount of hatred on some of these comments (and some of the uneducated comments). Regardless of the President elected, it was an exciting time for politics! Bush policies have really failed our country and it was time for a needed change. We all felt the excitement about having a say in our new president!! However, if the president you chose for lost, there is no need to be so bitter and lash out at each other.

Michael, I'm sorry about your predicament. The story you wrote was very telling of your experience. I understand that their may be a a few bad apples out of the people celebrating, but there is no reason for the police to have reacted as they did. I also think you should reveal the names of the police officers, but I'm not sure if it will help considering some of these comments. Go Obama!

Posted 11.25.2008 10:03 AM

bmorenewb

149 comments.

Member since 4/20/2007

"However, if the president you chose for lost, there is no need to be so bitter and lash out at each other."

Did you give this very same advice for the last 8 years?

Posted 11.25.2008 10:37 AM

hamsandwich

34 comments.

Member since 11/25/2008

Patriotic Nam Vet said:

"Mr. Hughes, I can only say that you have helped elect a non American who will foster many more "Brown Shoe" tactics. What you experienced is only a mild example of what Nobama's Socialist Muslim policies will bring to our once proud and free country. I have NO sympathy for you!"

Holy geez.

P.S. WTF is a "brown shoe tactic"?

Posted 11.25.2008 3:52 PM

Count Tousser

258 comments.

Member since 8/21/2007

P.S. WTF is a "brown shoe tactic"?

--That's when you sing songs by George Harrison at public gatherings, y'know, "Stepping out of this old brown shoe"....Or Frank Zappa's "Brown Shoes Don't Make It"....

Posted 11.26.2008 9:53 AM