Fact: Despite all the injuries and inconsistencies, the Orioles are in first place. If you had told me at the beginning of the season that Matt Wieters’ season would end in May, that 88 games into the season, J.J. Hardy would only have two homers, Chris Davis would be flirting with the Mendoza line, and Manny Machado would be suspended for purposefully chucking his bat onto the field, I’d have told...Read more
Thirty-two of the Earth's 196 nations—nearly 16 percent—are gripped with World Cup Fever and finally it appears American immunity to the round-ball plague is waning. I'm a sports fan and soccer has a lot in common with sports, so I thought I'd take a timid step into the world of no-hands football. I trundled on down to the nearest bar with a foreign-sounding name hoping for some hooligans watching...Read more
If City Paper were a shed, I'd be one of the duller tools, maybe the bowling ball to Van Smith's hedge shears or the stack of pancakes to the Mr. Wrong whirligig, but I have picked up a few tricks along the way. For instance, when interviewing one of the most powerful human warriors on the planet, I found it best to defuse the situation. I know I can be intimidating, frightening even, so when I sat...Read more
Hey Spring, thanks for coming. I don't want to sound like an ass-hat or anything, but your brother Winter was a royal douche this year. I hope you're planning something nice. The Orioles? You bring the Orioles every year. You added free agents this go-round? Like, 75-year-old retreaded also-rans, right? Maybe Sammy Sosa's grandfather or a homunculus slapped together from pine tar, Louisville Slugger...Read more
The NCAA Championships are this weekend, and my bracket isn't looking so hot. Looking back, I am not sure why I picked Coastal Carolina over Lincoln Tech in the finals. Here's a little hard-won wisdom in bracketology for you: No matter how much you think the selection committee dropped the ball leaving out the Bartender's Academy, never go with a write-in.
It's for the best anyway. The finals may...Read more
Orioles spring training opens next week, and I for one would not want to hear Chuck Thompson's assessment of the beer temperature in Baltimore. Baseball's offseason is known as the Hot Stove League, but for Baltimore fans it's been more of a hot mess. The Orioles came into this offseason fresh from their second-straight winning season and a few blown saves away from their second-straight playoff appearance,...Read more