The Mr. Wrong Column has been Fired from City Paper, Baltimore's Least-Wrong Alternative Weekly. I can't complain, though, seriously, this thing has been running, on and off, since Sept. 30 of The Year Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-Eight, can you believe that?
I thank—and you may thank, or blame—Mr. A. Markowitz, formerly of Baltimore, Editor-in-Chief of your Baltimore City Paper, circa 1998, for allowing this thing to happen, but most of all, I thank you, the Gentle Reader, for making it so far with me, and even if this is the first time you have ever dived into this mess, thanks for reading.
I did a rough estimate of how many words I have pooped out onto these pages and pixels in the name of Wrong, and it's something like, OK, I dunno, 18 years of Columning? Let's say, conservatively, I pecked out 600 episodes, at around 900 words a pop, that's like 540,000 words—and yeah, I know, most of them were the F-Bomb, my favorite—then, let's divide the words up by how much money I Got Paid, which has been anywhere from $90 to $165 a shot (I know! Crazy! They paid me! Money! For this!), so that means I Typed Crap for around $100-$125 a column, which means at 10 cents a word, maybe I raked in around 75 Grand? Har!
Anyway, I just realized, I was never really getting paid by the Word, I was getting paid by the Column! I'm outta here!