Columns

  • Field Tripping: National Parking

    Field Tripping: National Parking

    This year the National Park Service celebrates its 100th birthday. This is really, really exciting, especially if you're a national parks buff like myself. I grew up resisting the outdoors—that was my dad's territory, and once my parents divorced, blind loyalty to my mother meant eschewing anything...

  • Savage Love: Quickies

    Savage Love: Quickies

    I'm a 27-year-old straight male and a high school teacher held to a strict code. I left my fiancée in June and haven't had sex since. Needless to say, I'm really horny. I'm also in that weird in-between age where I'm not comfortable hanging out at college bars but I'm also a bit younger than most...

  • Free Will Astrology: 9/7/16

    Free Will Astrology: 9/7/16

    ARIES (March 21-April 19): Two seven-year-old girls showed me three tricks I could use to avoid taking myself too seriously and getting too attached to my dignity. I'm offering these tricks to you just in time for the letting-go phase of your astrological cycle. Trick #1: Speak in a made-up language...

  • Free Will Astrology: 8/31/16

    Free Will Astrology: 8/31/16

    ARIES (March 21-April 19): Truth decay is in its early stages. If you take action soon, you can prevent a full-scale decomposition. But be forewarned: Things could get messy, especially if you intervene with the relentless candor and clarity that will be required for medicinal purification. So...

  • Savage Love: Client Tell

    Savage Love: Client Tell

    I have been seeing sex workers for 30 years, and I shudder to think how shitty my life would have been without them. Some have become friends, but I've appreciated all of them. Negative stereotypes about guys like me are not fair, but sex work does have its problems. Some clients (including females)...

  • Field Tripping: Nostalgia Tripping

    Field Tripping: Nostalgia Tripping

    This week's field trips were all about nostalgia, the perfect way to start marking what is (I hope) the slow transition from summer to fall. It's a zillion degrees outside, but the ladyfriend swears she can smell a change in the weather, and in a sense of hope and solidarity, I say I can, too....

City Squeeze

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City Squeeze: Long live City Paper

This is my last issue as City Paper's editor. After three years and two months with the paper, I resigned to take a position as director of strategic communications for the Open Society Institute–Baltimore. I'm more proud of the work we've done at City Paper than I am of anything else I've done...

Conflicts of Interest

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Conflicts Of Interest: The Starr Report

I was sitting in an interview room on the fifth floor of the Police Headquarters and I was hungover as fuck. Two detectives sat across from me; their lieutenant at my side. I was hungover because my band played the night before and I was in Homicide because T.J. Smith, the public information officer,...

Field Tripping

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Field Tripping: A Good Girl's altered states

Drugs are a quick way to altered consciousness, which is why lots of us use them. Rates of drug use are remarkably consistent across demographics, with white people leading use rates and people of color leading rates of incarceration on drug charges. Those racial politics mean real differences...

Free Will Astrology

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Free Will Astrology: 8/24/16

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the coming weeks, I hope you won't scream curses at the rain, demanding that it stop falling on you. Similarly, I suggest you refrain from punching walls that seem to be hemming you in, and I beg you not to spit into the wind when it's blowing in your face. Here's...

Hey Cabbie!

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Hey Cabbie: Tired of this shit

Racial issues will be America’s downfall! She has to come to grips with the issue and lean toward equality, by showing it, expressing it, and by all means demonstrating it to the people. Concrete short- and long-term goals and solutions are an absolute must, not lip service, and not the giveaway...

Hot Fudge Wednesdays

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Hot Fudge Wednesdays: A rat's guide to Artscape

I gotta say, there's nothing like being a rat in Baltimore, and there's nothing like Artscape to touch a rat where it counts. When I'm not transmitting leptospirosis through my feces, I love to kick back and trash surf with the locals. This will be my second year at Artscape and therefore my last,...

It's Gianna Bitch

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It's Gianna Bitch: Disney World makes me sick

Look, I get why the quarterback for the winning team at the Super Bowl yells “I’m going to Disney World” when he’s asked about what he plans to do after his big win. See, Disney World and organized sports are huge corporate entities that create recognizable brands and strong customer loyalty through...

Mr. Wrong

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Mr Wrong: Enjoy the Silence

The Mr. Wrong Column has been Fired from City Paper, Baltimore's Least-Wrong Alternative Weekly. I can't complain, though, seriously, this thing has been running, on and off, since Sept. 30 of The Year Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-Eight, can you believe that? I thank—and you may thank, or blame—Mr....

No Trivia

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The Undercard

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The Undercard: In the Shadow of American Pharoah

A year ago, the dark gray clouds over Pimlico opened up and unleashed a monsoon, turning the track into a muddy mess. Lightning flashed above, and the infield and stands were ordered to be evacuated. And yet the field of eight horses, including Kentucky Derby winner American Pharoah and the two...

Savage Love

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Savage Love: Cheats

I'm a guy, 35, and a cheating piece of shit. I'm engaged to a woman I love, but earlier this year I cheated on her. I have no excuse. She discovered the dating app I used, and we worked through that. But she doesn't know that shortly after her discovery, I went ahead and cheated. To my meager,...

Spitballin'

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5 Orioles Facts and 5 Orioles Fictions

Fact: Despite all the injuries and inconsistencies, the Orioles are in first place. If you had told me at the beginning of the season that Matt Wieters’ season would end in May, that 88 games into the season, J.J. Hardy would only have two homers, Chris Davis would be flirting with the Mendoza...

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