• Mr. Wrong: It ain't cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving

    Mr. Wrong: It ain't cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving

    You don't have to eat a turkey if you don't want to, but I look forward to eating something (OK, overeating a lot of somethings) on Thanksgiving and then lying on the floor in front of the Television. You know how in some old songs they say, "Throw your hands up in the air, and wave 'em like you...

  • Savage Love: Fresh Air

    Savage Love: Fresh Air

    A couple of months ago, I got candida (a fungal infection) under my foreskin. I went to the doctor, picked up some cream, and used the cream as directed. The infection went away for about a week and then returned. I got this idea that maybe the cream didn't work the first time because it's so naturally...

  • Free Will Astrology 11/25/15

    Free Will Astrology 11/25/15

    ARIES (March 21-April 19): "We are torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange," wrote novelist Carson McCullers. "As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known." I'm guessing that these days you're feeling that kind of homesickness....

  • Hot Fudge Wednesdays: Ride with every color of the rainbow

    Hot Fudge Wednesdays: Ride with every color of the rainbow

    A few weeks ago, Gov. Larry Hogan unveiled a brand-new website dedicated to thinking about proposing to maybe solve some of the issues facing Baltimore City's public transportation system, calling the plan outlined on the MTA's BaltimoreLink website "incredible" and "comprehensive." While the web...

  • Conflicts Of Interest: Conflicts is dead, long live conflicts

    Conflicts Of Interest: Conflicts is dead, long live conflicts

    Whenever I can I try to go to the Lexington Market at 4 p.m. and get a coffee from Konstant's, the best coffee in town, and stand at one of the tables in the arcade and drink it and watch people and listen and watch the light stream in through the stained-glass window of the bull and the cornucopia...

  • Free Will Astrology: 11/18/15

    Free Will Astrology: 11/18/15

    ARIES (March 21-April 19): defines the English word "balter" as follows: "to dance without particular skill or grace, but with extreme joy." It's related to the Danish term "baltre," which means "to romp, tumble, roll, cavort." I nominate this activity to be one of your ruling...

City Squeeze


City Squeeze: Long live City Paper

This is my last issue as City Paper's editor. After three years and two months with the paper, I resigned to take a position as director of strategic communications for the Open Society Institute–Baltimore. I'm more proud of the work we've done at City Paper than I am of anything else I've done...

Conflicts of Interest


Field Tripping


Field Tripping: South Carolina-ing

My twin sister ran the New York City marathon this month, for the second time. The first time she ran, I took the train up there, leapfrogged her by subway so I could cheer her on at various intersections, and then, as soon as it was over, I was back on the subway home. It was awesome, but this...

Free Will Astrology


Free Will Astrology: 11/11/15

ARIES (March 21-April 19): "I demand unconditional love and complete freedom," wrote Slovenian poet Toma¿ Šalamun. "That is why I am terrible." In accordance with the astrological omens, I'm offering you the chance, at least temporarily, to join Šalamun in demanding unconditional love and complete...

Hey Cabbie!


Hey Cabbie: Tired of this shit

Racial issues will be America’s downfall! She has to come to grips with the issue and lean toward equality, by showing it, expressing it, and by all means demonstrating it to the people. Concrete short- and long-term goals and solutions are an absolute must, not lip service, and not the giveaway...

Hot Fudge Wednesdays


Hot Fudge Wednesdays: Books: Why? Who Let You In Here?

Books. Everyone thinks they are so great, but what if they are actually bad? Many common misconceptions regarding books and book-related facts exist, and today is as good as any other hazel-eyed day to have one's mind utterly cast asunder, with walls of reality crashing downward as if under the...

It's Gianna Bitch


It's Gianna Bitch: Disney World makes me sick

Look, I get why the quarterback for the winning team at the Super Bowl yells “I’m going to Disney World” when he’s asked about what he plans to do after his big win. See, Disney World and organized sports are huge corporate entities that create recognizable brands and strong customer loyalty through...

Mr. Wrong


No Trivia


No Trivia: You didn't DIY

Following the uprising, Baltimore's white music scene has been trying to get a bit more introspective. Conversation starters such as Jana Hunter and Abdu Ali's piece for Pitchfork, "White Privilege and Black Lives in the Baltimore Music Scene" in July, and Maura Callahan and Rebekah Kirkman's tough-minded ...

The Undercard


Savage Love


Savage Love: Cold Cucked

I've always been a big believer in the common-sense obviousness that monogamy is hard. Additionally, I like the idea of my wife getting fucked. I don't have any desire to be denigrated or emasculated; I just get off on the idea of her being satisfied and a little transgressive. Early in our relationship,...



5 Orioles Facts and 5 Orioles Fictions

Fact: Despite all the injuries and inconsistencies, the Orioles are in first place. If you had told me at the beginning of the season that Matt Wieters’ season would end in May, that 88 games into the season, J.J. Hardy would only have two homers, Chris Davis would be flirting with the Mendoza...