Columns

  • Savage Love: Quickies

    Savage Love: Quickies

    My boyfriend of almost two years is wonderful, and we have had very few issues. But there is one thing that has almost been a deal breaker. He fiddles with his penis almost constantly—in front of me and in front of our roommates. I've confronted him about it a number of times. He said he should...

  • Savage Love: Eat Me

    Savage Love: Eat Me

    I'm a very sex-positive girl and I finally convinced my boyfriend to open up about his fetishes. I could tell he was ashamed and torn about sharing them with me, but I've been with my fair share of guys and surfed the net for years, and I was convinced nothing would shock me. Well, it turns out...

  • Field Tripping: Honeymooning

    Field Tripping: Honeymooning

    The ladyfriend and I got hitched at the courthouse on Monday, November 7. The ceremony was two minutes long, streamed live on Facebook, and after a few hours hamming it up for pictures we were happily settled in at Charles Village Pub, our neighborhood bar, eating chicken strips dipped in buffalo...

  • Field Tripping: Bike Lane-ing

    Field Tripping: Bike Lane-ing

    One of my favorite things about riding a bicycle is that every morning starts with a field trip—I hop on my bike and pedal through different neighborhoods, say my how-you-doings to folks, and get to fit in a little exploring on my way down the hill to the bike racks at the University of Maryland...

  • Savage Love: Mourning in America

    Savage Love: Mourning in America

    I'm a longtime fan—reader and listener—and part of the 47 percent of white women who did NOT vote for Donald Trump. To say I'm disappointed, horrified, scared, and mad about the election is woefully insufficient. I donated $100 to Planned Parenthood this morning because I honestly felt like there...

  • Savage Love: Aaron The Side

    Savage Love: Aaron The Side

    I am a bi man in my late 20s in a poly relationship. My primary partner's name is Erin. One of the rules she mandated is that I cannot date anyone else named Aaron or Erin. She thinks it would be confusing and awkward. Since those are fairly common names, I have had to reject other Aarons/Erins...

City Squeeze

More

City Squeeze: Long live City Paper

This is my last issue as City Paper's editor. After three years and two months with the paper, I resigned to take a position as director of strategic communications for the Open Society Institute–Baltimore. I'm more proud of the work we've done at City Paper than I am of anything else I've done...

Conflicts of Interest

More

Field Tripping

More

Field Tripping: Queer Interioring

My Friday nights usually consist of ordering in and staring at the television—long work weeks will do that to you. I save my fieldtrips for the magic of the Saturday afternoon—I'm rested, and I don't have to start thinking about a new work week quite yet—but when the ladyfriend invited me on a...

Free Will Astrology

More

Free Will Astrology: 9/7/16

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Two seven-year-old girls showed me three tricks I could use to avoid taking myself too seriously and getting too attached to my dignity. I'm offering these tricks to you just in time for the letting-go phase of your astrological cycle. Trick #1: Speak in a made-up language...

Hey Cabbie!

More

Hey Cabbie: Tired of this shit

Racial issues will be America’s downfall! She has to come to grips with the issue and lean toward equality, by showing it, expressing it, and by all means demonstrating it to the people. Concrete short- and long-term goals and solutions are an absolute must, not lip service, and not the giveaway...

Hot Fudge Wednesdays

More

Hot Fudge Wednesdays: A rat's guide to Artscape

I gotta say, there's nothing like being a rat in Baltimore, and there's nothing like Artscape to touch a rat where it counts. When I'm not transmitting leptospirosis through my feces, I love to kick back and trash surf with the locals. This will be my second year at Artscape and therefore my last,...

It's Gianna Bitch

More

It's Gianna Bitch: Disney World makes me sick

Look, I get why the quarterback for the winning team at the Super Bowl yells “I’m going to Disney World” when he’s asked about what he plans to do after his big win. See, Disney World and organized sports are huge corporate entities that create recognizable brands and strong customer loyalty through...

Mr. Wrong

More

Mr Wrong: Enjoy the Silence

The Mr. Wrong Column has been Fired from City Paper, Baltimore's Least-Wrong Alternative Weekly. I can't complain, though, seriously, this thing has been running, on and off, since Sept. 30 of The Year Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-Eight, can you believe that? I thank—and you may thank, or blame—Mr....

No Trivia

More

No Trivia: Everybody knows this is nowhere

A big chunk of Neil Young's discography showed up on Apple Music and Spotify just a few days before Donald Trump's victory and I've been revisiting his noisy, rickety records of rage, rancor, and resignation ever since. There's maybe no musician who better articulates the long game of dissappointment,...

The Undercard

More

The Undercard: In the Shadow of American Pharoah

A year ago, the dark gray clouds over Pimlico opened up and unleashed a monsoon, turning the track into a muddy mess. Lightning flashed above, and the infield and stands were ordered to be evacuated. And yet the field of eight horses, including Kentucky Derby winner American Pharoah and the two...

Savage Love

More

Savage Love: Cuck Everlasting

I'm a 41-year-old male who looks like the tall, strong, professional, alpha-male type on the outside. On the inside, though, I would like to find a strong, confident woman who wants a cuckolding relationship—she sleeps with other men, while I am faithful and submissive to her. There must be women...

Spitballin'

More

5 Orioles Facts and 5 Orioles Fictions

Fact: Despite all the injuries and inconsistencies, the Orioles are in first place. If you had told me at the beginning of the season that Matt Wieters’ season would end in May, that 88 games into the season, J.J. Hardy would only have two homers, Chris Davis would be flirting with the Mendoza...

48°