Columns

  • Savage Love: Risky Business

    Savage Love: Risky Business

    About a year ago, I was pretending to read my boyfriend's mind and jokingly said, "You want to put it in my ear." Since then, I have seen references to ear sex (aural sex?) everywhere! There's even a holiday ("Take It in the Ear Day" on December 8), and I was reading a book just now in which the...

  • Savage Love: Clubbing

    Savage Love: Clubbing

    My partner and I have been playing with male chastity devices. We've been considering going to a strip club while his cock is caged up and getting him lap dances. Is there some etiquette for this with the dancers? Do we let the dancer know before she is on his lap? Or do we not mention it? Is it...

  • Conflicts Of Interest: Trump's anti-drug cabinet is 'the worst of the worst'

    Conflicts Of Interest: Trump's anti-drug cabinet is 'the worst of the worst'

    After resounding victories for legal pot on the same day that America elected Donald Trump president, activists and advocates were cautiously optimistic. Now, as the cabinet confirmations begin, they are freaking the fuck out. "Even though there's been a big rise in support for drug policy reform...

  • Field Tripping: Resolutioning

    Field Tripping: Resolutioning

    It's a new year, and that of course means a new you, right? Looks like I'm going to be stuck with the same old me, unfortunately, but this past month of field trips has got me thinking about resolutions for 2017. My first December field trip took me to New Orleans to visit old haunts from my time...

  • Savage Love: Just Drinks

    Savage Love: Just Drinks

    My brother is a virgin and turning 30 in a few weeks. He said he wants to hire an escort just for drinks and conversation for his birthday, but he doesn't really know how to tell what's a reliable service or what criteria he should be looking for to tell whether an agency is legit, reliable, etc....

  • Savage Love: Resolution Hall

    Savage Love: Resolution Hall

    Earlier this month, we recorded our Savage Lovecast Christmas Spectacular live at Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon. The audience submitted questions on tiny cards before the show, which allowed questioners to remain anonymous and forced them to be succinct. More questions were submitted than...

City Squeeze

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City Squeeze: Long live City Paper

This is my last issue as City Paper's editor. After three years and two months with the paper, I resigned to take a position as director of strategic communications for the Open Society Institute–Baltimore. I'm more proud of the work we've done at City Paper than I am of anything else I've done...

Conflicts of Interest

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Field Tripping

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Field Tripping: Christmasing

I am not a Christmas fan. I love presents, sure, but I hate the relentless commercialism of the holiday and the way it pushes so many of us to spend money we don't have on things nobody needs. I hate traveling when everyone else is trying to do the same thing, all of us packed like sardines as...

Free Will Astrology

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Free Will Astrology: 9/7/16

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Two seven-year-old girls showed me three tricks I could use to avoid taking myself too seriously and getting too attached to my dignity. I'm offering these tricks to you just in time for the letting-go phase of your astrological cycle. Trick #1: Speak in a made-up language...

Hey Cabbie!

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Hey Cabbie: Tired of this shit

Racial issues will be America’s downfall! She has to come to grips with the issue and lean toward equality, by showing it, expressing it, and by all means demonstrating it to the people. Concrete short- and long-term goals and solutions are an absolute must, not lip service, and not the giveaway...

Hot Fudge Wednesdays

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Hot Fudge Wednesdays: A rat's guide to Artscape

I gotta say, there's nothing like being a rat in Baltimore, and there's nothing like Artscape to touch a rat where it counts. When I'm not transmitting leptospirosis through my feces, I love to kick back and trash surf with the locals. This will be my second year at Artscape and therefore my last,...

It's Gianna Bitch

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It's Gianna Bitch: Disney World makes me sick

Look, I get why the quarterback for the winning team at the Super Bowl yells “I’m going to Disney World” when he’s asked about what he plans to do after his big win. See, Disney World and organized sports are huge corporate entities that create recognizable brands and strong customer loyalty through...

Mr. Wrong

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Mr Wrong: Enjoy the Silence

The Mr. Wrong Column has been Fired from City Paper, Baltimore's Least-Wrong Alternative Weekly. I can't complain, though, seriously, this thing has been running, on and off, since Sept. 30 of The Year Nineteen Hundred and Ninety-Eight, can you believe that? I thank—and you may thank, or blame—Mr....

No Trivia

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No Trivia: Everybody knows this is nowhere

A big chunk of Neil Young's discography showed up on Apple Music and Spotify just a few days before Donald Trump's victory and I've been revisiting his noisy, rickety records of rage, rancor, and resignation ever since. There's maybe no musician who better articulates the long game of dissappointment,...

The Undercard

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The Undercard: In the Shadow of American Pharoah

A year ago, the dark gray clouds over Pimlico opened up and unleashed a monsoon, turning the track into a muddy mess. Lightning flashed above, and the infield and stands were ordered to be evacuated. And yet the field of eight horses, including Kentucky Derby winner American Pharoah and the two...

Savage Love

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Savage Love: Slouching Toward 2017

Perhaps you're not the best person to ask, being a cis white man, but as a queer woman of color, the election had an extremely detrimental effect on my relationships with my white partners. I love and care for them, but looking at those results has me wondering why the fuck they didn't do better...

Spitballin'

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5 Orioles Facts and 5 Orioles Fictions

Fact: Despite all the injuries and inconsistencies, the Orioles are in first place. If you had told me at the beginning of the season that Matt Wieters’ season would end in May, that 88 games into the season, J.J. Hardy would only have two homers, Chris Davis would be flirting with the Mendoza...

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