film Home > Movie Reviews

THE MOVIE In the 1970s, our nation’s hockey rinks and civic centers were filled with fake blood, folding chairs, spilled beer, and the fascistic stomping feet of thousands of teenaged malcontents. There was one man largely responsible for all that cut-rate Grand Guignol and grease-monkey glam, and his name was Vincent Damon Furnier. But you know him better as Alice Cooper.

Between 1971 and 1973, Alice Cooper released a staggering five hit albums. By 1973, his Billion Dollar Babies tour found Alice Cooper as one of the biggest rock acts in the world. Of course, he was green-lighted to make a concert film—sponsored by Penthouse, no less. As Cooper says in the commentary, “Speed was very big back then”—which goes some way to explaining Good to See You Again, Alice Cooper, rated “PG” for pretty gross. What we have here is a failure to communicate—half concert film, half “plot”—that would have the Pythons scratching their heads.

The movie opens with the band decked out in white penguin suits, performing a rendition of “The Lady Is a Tramp” in a studio that looks borrowed from Lawrence Welk. They then proceed to destroy it, inciting “Herr Director,” a cross between Billy Wilder and Dr. Strangelove. Herr Director vows revenge, teaming up with Baron Von Krelve, who looks like an overweight auto mechanic in a Viking costume. At least, they would vow revenge, if this goddamn movie made any sense.

The Alice Cooper Gang steals an elephant (because you can’t take wheeled vehicles onto “Animal Road,” of course), and Herr Director and Krelve mistake a camel under a sheet for the band. Krelve later teams up with the “Lone Person,” a western hero, while Krelve leads a donkey around in tennis shoes. For some reason Alice smashes up his own neon grave. Later, the owner of the arena tries to steal the box-office receipts with Krelve, who drives a mint-green convertible.

The concert footage is, of course, great. The Billion Dollar Babies tour was the rubicon after which Alice Cooper stopped being a band and became a dancing-skeletons-and-zombie-showgirls Vegas review. The man plays the cave-metal with all the wailing leads and twirled drumsticks you expect. Cooper serenades a snake, molests mannequins, explodes balloons of dollar bills, and sticks his head in mouth of the guillotine. The screaming audience reaction shots look like Brueghel paintings.

THE DISC You get the original theatrical trailer, which contains the funniest moment—as a snake devours a hapless rat, the ’70s schlock announcer voice cackles “and a final performance by Ben.” You get a poster gallery, which shows where the budget for this thing went. You get a deleted scene where the band is beaten to death at an airport with brooms. You get the option to play the concert by itself but no option to watch just the “plot” bits. Plus you get a commentary track from Cooper, who sounds like your dad looking at his college photos. Nonetheless, it does contain a few choice tidbits: “Dick Klotzman on piano . . . he did about four years in jail after this.”