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Under His Beard: The Militia!
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By Edward Ericson Jr. | Posted 3/12/2009

In what could be the most egregious misuse of his Chuck Norris powers since his endorsement of Mike Huckabee, Walker: Texas Ranger star and martial arts legend Chuck Norris has suggested that Texas secede from the union, that he "may run for President" of the Republic of Texas, and that thousands of right-wing "cells" will coalesce tomorrow around Fox commentator Glenn Beck, who will provide further marching orders.

During a March 3 interview on Beck's radio show, Norris asserted that "our Constitution was made only for a religious and moral people," adding that "it's wholly inadequate for the government of any other."

He also said that Walker: Texas Ranger could totally take out Jack Bauer of 24.

And he said Texas could secede--and that day might be close at hand:

GLENN: Americans will, they just, they won't stand for it. There will be parts of the country that will rise up. And they said, where's that going to come from? And I said Texas, it's going to come from Texas. Do you agree with that, Chuck, or not?
NORRIS: Oh, yeah. You know, Texas is a republic, you know. We could actually --
GLENN: It was a country before it was a state.
NORRIS: Yeah, we could break off from the union if we wanted to.

Most constitutional scholars disagree. This whole "secession" thing got tried that one time about 130 years ago, and the matter was settled pretty decisively in favor of the proposition, "Um, no."

But, since the mid 1960s, the Republican Party has given itself over, more and more, to those who believe the ideals of the old confederacy are superior to what has come since. They call themselves "conservatives" and sometimes "Christian patriots," but the ideas are pretty consistently not conservative, Christian, or patriotic.

And now Beck is organizing some kind of revolution, which supposedly begins tomorrow at 5 p.m., with these thousands of "cells" (Norris' word) tuned in.

Never heard of Glenn Beck? Here's a running compendium of his wise pronouncements. (Think Rush, but not as smart).

For his own part, Norris has expanded on his radio appearance in his own column at Worldnet Daily:

How much more will Americans take? When will enough be enough? And, when that time comes, will our leaders finally listen or will history need to record a second American Revolution? We the people have the authority according to America's Declaration of Independence. . . .

So, will Chuck really lead a nation of Christian patriots into glorious battle against the forces of darkness? Perhaps. Then again, he may just be shilling for his new martial arts meet. His column ends with this postscript:

(Note: Speaking of showdowns, Chuck is also inviting anyone near the Houston area this weekend to see a good example of the raw Texas fighting spirit by joining him and others for the national martial arts event, "Showdown in H-Town.")

Email Edward Ericson Jr.

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Leave a comment

citythatbreeds

8 comments.

Member since 1/13/2009

Ha. Ha ha ha.

Aaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Report this comment Posted 3.12.2009 3:56 PM

texasscott

1 comments.

Member since 3/12/2009

If seession is so wrong when will you be bowing to the English crown?

I do not think the US wants a re-match with Texas let alone any more states. The powers in charge of the US now lack the will to wage war with a few insurgents in Iraq, now way they could handle 15 million armed Texans

.

Report this comment Posted 3.12.2009 7:33 PM

Amadeo

109 comments.

Member since 4/10/2008

I'm sure the rest of the Nation is "ascared" of Texas.

Report this comment Posted 3.13.2009 9:38 AM

nrobyar

1 comments.

Member since 3/13/2009

The best thing Norris ever did was support Governor Huckabee in the election and we would ALL be a lot better of if he would have won!!!

Report this comment Posted 3.13.2009 2:07 PM

showboat911

1 comments.

Member since 3/16/2009

Before you can even begin to argue Texas succession first join the group of millions of people, judges, lawyers, college groups, and motivated individuals spanning over 100 years, and try to prove Texas was ever truly, legally annexed into the union. After you contact the corporate STATE OF TEXAS and ask them for the last legal Organic filed document for Texas please return here and post it for all to see. For those of you who may not have an extra 100 years its the 1836 constitution. Its this reason Texas cannot succeed it is impossible to leave somewhere you have never been.

Report this comment Posted 3.16.2009 9:45 AM

it-is-i

1 comments.

Member since 3/16/2009

Showboat911 makes one excellent point:

Texas cannot succeed. I'm not sure that they're even trying very hard.

Report this comment Posted 3.16.2009 10:32 AM

DrAwesome

Guest

Chuck was not the first to say that the Constitution was for a "Religious and Moral People". That was John Adams. Also, succession was not blocked by a prevailing opinion, it was blocked by a handful of people who had the might and means to stop it, and the skilled PR technicians to convince the people.

Report this comment Posted 11.2.2009 9:12 AM

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