The town of Monticello, Minn., sits at the northern end of the Mississippi River, about an hour's drive northwest of Minneapolis. It's a picturesque place, home to a little more than 10,000 people, according to 2006 census information. Back in 2007, the town thought that if it had a fiber-optic network, it might better attract business to the area, and so it went to the local telco and asked what plans the company--Monticello had a single provider for local phone service, TDS/Bridgewater--had ... [MORE]

It really sucks having a column that only comes out every three weeks, seriously. I mean, last week I woulda had some Opinions and stuff about Balloon Boy or whatever was happening last week, but now Balloon Boy is over, right? I mean, now it's boring because it was an Inside Job or whatever, so who cares, right? No offense to Balloon Boy, or Box Boy, I guess it should be now, because he hid in a box, and, I mean, I know it's not his fault, and maybe he will be able to Rehabilitate himself or so ... [MORE]

I've been looking forward to Black Dynamite since I first saw the promo writer/star Michael Jai White put together last year. Not so much a spoof as a homage, the film looks like a lovingly recreated black action film from the '70s, with, among other features, pitch perfect costuming, that strange '70s fetishization of martial arts, and a plot involving getting dope out of the neighborhoods. As a longtime fan of films from the period, it seemed like a perfect project and one I'd enjoy. So I was ... [MORE]

About 10 years ago, there was a short moment where the lawmakers of New York City mulled over the idea of legalizing the three-card monte game, calling it "a game of skill." But really--it's not. It's not even a gamble. You play, you'll lose. It's that simple. Slot machines, those are a gamble. You know when you stick your money in, you've got an infinitesimal chance that you may win more than you pay out. As small as the chance is, you can't exactly call it a rip-off. There's no intent to def ... [MORE]

I try really hard to be a law-abiding citizen of Baltimore, USA, and even though I have racked up more than my share of tickets for speeding, running stop signs and red lights, not having money for the tunnel, parking bad, etc., I still totally Believe in and wholeheartedly Endorse the speed-cams currently infesting Our Fair City for the purposes of making people drive according to the Speed Limit. If you have some Internets on you, please to go ahead right now and use it to see where all th ... [MORE]

I'm fascinated by the political battle between the Obama administration and New York Gov. David Paterson. Reportedly, the president has urged Paterson not to run for re-election next year because of what many see as his slim chances of winning. Paterson has very publicly rebuffed the president's wishes and, in fact, has gotten a lil' greasy with his verbiage, blaming some of his political woes on what he sees as commentary on the president's job performance. Adding to the intrigue, GOP chairma ... [MORE]

One of the most stunning parts of the debate about health-care reform is how often the plight of the poor gets shut out of the discussion. This is understandable, if still unconscionable. If the squeaky wheel gets the grease, then the wealthy own the wheel, the tires, the car, most of the roads, and a percentage of the tolls. Powerful corporate interests and Wall Street control so much of the dialogue due to political contributions and media ownership that there is virtually no chance that t ... [MORE]

Next week in the pages and pixellations of Baltimore's Best Free Alternative News and Information and Entertainment and Wacky Astrology and Sex Column and Sudoku Weekly is the biggest-deal issue of the year that people always have issues with, namely the City Paper Best of Baltimore episode, and it used to annoy me mostly because I would end up getting screwed out of a week's worth of my column that used to run every other week, but now that the Mr. Wrong runs once every three fucking weeks, f ... [MORE]

I'm writing this a week before Whitney Houston embarks on an image-rehabilitation tour, going from talk show to talk show, culminating with her appearance on a "very special" Oprah, but I'm pretty sure I know exactly how the various interviews are going to go. On the heels of her schmaltzy new inspirational anthem, "I Look to You," Houston's handlers are putting the finishing touches on the singer's ready-made storyline. Oh, she's been troubled, but she's been able to climb out of the hole she ... [MORE]

Years ago, during the Republican effort to eliminate the estate tax, which is paid primarily by the heirs of the wealthy, the GOP linguistic strategist and pollster Frank Luntz pushed the idea that the Republicans should refer to it as a "death tax." In a Los Angeles Times opinion column where Luntz all but pleaded guilty to being a primary advocate of the term, he said "For example, why not use the term 'death tax' for the taxes paid on an estate? . . . [if] I'm successful and forget to hire ... [MORE]

I am a resident of the City of Baltimore, and I am very excited about this new Red Line. You too, right? C'mon, it's like, Transportation for the Masses, The Future, etc., and More, yes? Yeah, man, Red Line! More Transportation! It is now my favorite Transportation Line color, although I actually don't know any of the other colors, so if there's an Azurite or maybe a nice Cerulean Blue Line out there, I might change my mind, but right now I'm-All-Red-Line-All-The-Time, baby! Red Line! Going plac ... [MORE]

I have immense respect for Chris Rock, not least because of what he's tackling in his newest project. Over the past two years, the comedian has worked on a documentary, Good Hair, that examines the issue of black women and their hair. OK, seriously, I feel a little weird even writing the words, "black women and their hair." I'll go off half-cocked about religion, politics, sex, whatever, but the subject of black women's hair is one that you have to approach . . . very gingerly. Perms, wings ... [MORE]

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