The real tribute to Michael Jackson's effect on the world over the past few days is not the outpouring of grief so much as it is how surprised people seem to be over how much they're grieving. We forgot how much we love Michael Jackson. Looking at television and the Internet, I was struck by the variety of people who just had to sit down somewhere when they heard the news. Over the last decade, distracted by headlines and court cases, we all forgot just how much the man had become entwined into ... [MORE]

Ever notice that in some types of modern comedy, the funny part is just saying brutal truths out loud? Chris Rock has made a career of this: Just listen to his riffs about the Million Man March, where the most embarrassing part of the whole spectacle is that there's a crackhead (former D.C. mayor Marion Barry) on stage. Or his riff, popular on YouTube, about how "How to Not Get Your Ass Kicked by the Police?" ("Number One: Obey the Law"). Probably the most pronounced example of uncomfortable-t ... [MORE]

What's worse is it's my fault, man. That means I can only (mostly) complain about myself, but still: Criminals! They (the Criminals) stole my fucking bike, which a friend of mine gave me, a no-name "beach cruiser" type of bike, a promotional item from a magazine--if you can fucking believe a few years ago magazines had enough dough to hand out whole bicycles, even if they were crappy ones--black, with no gears (or I guess only one gear) and it had Ye Olde coaster brakes where you sorta halfway ... [MORE]

I've been having a good summer as far as pop culture events go. Against all odds, Star Trek was amazing. I'm actually giddy over the promo ABC's showing for the new V. I just heard that Sade is coming out with a new album. But the event I'm most excited about is the new season of TV One's Unsung! As the title implies, the documentary series examines underrated musicians, mostly R&B acts, through interviews and archival material. And it's absolutely the greatest thing in the history of things ... [MORE]

I can't help but smile. Sure, we're nowhere out of the weeds yet. Jobs are still hemorrhaging, gas prices have started sliding upward for the summer, North Korea is lighting matches next to their underground atomic bonfire project, the jury's still out on all the bailout money we've thrown at Wall Street, and the automakers and the entire state of California look like they're next at the payout window. But still, there remain things to laugh about. For starters, there's the Manny, Moe, and J ... [MORE]

I don't know about you, but this fucking Recession is hitting me hard, man. First of all, here in the pages and pixels of Baltimore's Most Weekly Newspaper and Web Site, my column got demoted from once every other week to once every other-other week, which is to say once every three fucking weeks, so what that means is I don't Get Paid in the manner to which I am accustomed, and that is beyond Recession, man, it is Depressing, seriously. I'm no Math Major, but if you put a dollar-sign up in fro ... [MORE]

It looks like Wanda Sykes' act got most of the coverage of this past weekend's White House Correspondent's Dinner, but I was more interested in President Obama's comments. As HIS presidency goes on and he gets cooler and more distant, Obama fascinates me when he jokes or goes off script, because those moments represent rare times when we get to see the man underneath, and, boy, did he come through. I think he's a pretty funny guy, and he said some pretty funny things--he playfully cracked on h ... [MORE]

So, in the course of one week, Sen. Arlen Specter bolts the Republican Party and David Souter lets it be known that he's retiring from the Supreme Court at the end of the current term. And what does this mean to a good, forward-thinking progressive? Joe Sestak for the Senate in 2010! You don't get it? It's a matter of the falling dominoes. Arlen Specter switched over to the Democratic Party for the most clear-cut and obvious reason: If he stayed a Republican, he wouldn't keep his job. The only ... [MORE]

I went to a Baseball game the other day, and I have a few complaints. First of all, I understand the whole deal of how it (Our National Pastime) is a Business, and an Industry, and how it is Entertainment, so therefore you gotta make it Exciting--as in, way fucking more exciting than Baseball is to people who are not crazy about the Baseball but who end up at a game every now and then. So you gotta wake the motherfuckers up every inning because Baseball can be (get ready for this News Flash), a ... [MORE]

It's probably a good thing to start with the fact that I had been drinking. And, when I say, "drinking," I don't mean a-couple-of-brews-while-I'm-grilling-burgers drinking, I mean, me-and-my-brother-no-plans-on-driving-settled-in-for-the-evening-at-my-parents-house-brown-liquor-grown-man drinking, and while I wasn't drunk, I was certainly chatty. So, you'll have to excuse me if, while we pontificated on serious matters like school vouchers, stem-cell research, and figuring out exactly where Tim ... [MORE]

There's something about April. In mid-April two years ago, a mentally ill Seung Hui Cho killed 32 people and injured 25 more in a gun-fueled massacre at Virginia Tech. Ten years ago this April, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold killed 13 and injured 24 in their shooting spree at Columbine High School. In April 1995, Timothy McVeigh blew up the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City as a protest against the raid by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms on David Koresh's compound in Wa ... [MORE]

The other day I bought some M&M'S, the Peanut kind, because if you buy candy that has a peanut in it, you can justify the purchase, on account of peanuts--when not improperly handled and made into peanut butter that will fucking kill you with the Salmonella--are Nutritious, which balances out the real reason you (OK, not You; I) bought the goddamn candy in the first place, to wit; the delicious Candy part. So I got my little shiny yellow envelope of M&M'S, and I opened it and put all th ... [MORE]