Steve Hofstetter’s Comedy Without Apology Tour

$17. Metro Gallery, Baltimore.

Kinda nerdy and thankfully sans an instrument onstage, this bespectacled comedian with bad posture and a knowledge of sports stops by Charles Street tonight for his particular brand of pedestrian comedy. His web site doesn't say where he lives, but he must dig traveling because his act really riffs off the audience--whether it's intentionally invited to participate through his many questions or because it's heckling his skinny ass. He threw back a "Bitch, this ain't TV, I can hear you" once, which is pretty badass for an insecure stand-up (but aren't they all?), so if you go see him and you like to talk loud or talk back, be prepared to get fucked with. Thank god for the Metro Gallery's bar. (Wendy Ward)

E Major

Red Maple, Baltimore.

The Blackout Nights, Destry, Mean Creek, Leland Palmer, Hiphopmcdougal

The Ottobar, Baltimore.

Homeless Youth Art Slam

free. Cyclops Books and Music, Baltimore.

Baltimore's homeless youth are often neglected. They tend to be invisible to the casual observer, and very few services target those kids who are on their own. (There is, for instance, only one shelter in the city for unaccompanied kids under 18 years old.) More than a dozen homeless or formerly homeless young people--brought together by the Baltimore Homeless Youth Initiative's Youth Leaders--will tell their stories through poetry, visual art, song, and dance. Nibble on free food and refreshments while you watch. (Andrea Appleton)

The Vagina Monologues

$10, MICA affiliates $5. MICABBOX, Baltimore.

Feb. 14 is usually a day for Hallmark-y romance, but since 1998 it has also become V-Day, an international movement to end violence against women. Pre-V-Day, Maryland Institute College of Art affiliates take to the stage with V-Day founder Eve Ensler's Obie Award-winning play, The Vagina Monologues. A celebration of female sexuality from start to climax, the monologues begin with Ensler's thoughts on pubic hair and progress to the career details of a dominatrix whose main desire is to give other women pleasure. Proceeds benefit TurnAround Inc., a local non-profit that works to prevent violence in the community. (Phoebe Bright)

Mount Righteous, Sine Bean

The Windup Space, Baltimore.

We love us a punk-rock marching band, and Mount Righteous ups the ante. In fact, the anarchic marching bands you may know aren't the best touchstone at all. Look rather at poppier ensembles like the Polyphonic Spree. Mount Righteous, hailing from the absolute g-d's country of the Texas prairie, belts it out with oomph and near caustic zeal, but the music is catchy and melodic, weaving vocals and lighter elements into a booming ensemble. (Michael Byrne)

Ebony Bones

$7. Talking Head, Baltimore.

One of those mostly local lineups that sees through scenes and cliques that Baltimore needs more of, Tax Lo's Halloween bash brings together several volatile canisters of testosterone via grimy garage-rock beast Hollywood and psych shredder Vincent Black Shadow. Add in Nadastrom (pictured), what seems to be club DJ/producer Dave Nada's main project now, for house and Baltimore club dance-floor heaviness and standing still gets ever harder. Being Halloween and all, of course, there's a couple of cover bands: Rah Rah Replica doing Bikini Kill and Black Coffee doing Black Flag. (Michael Byrne)

Baltimore Symphony Orchestra: Pictures of Music

$45-$75. Music Center at Strathmore, Bethesda.

Maestra Marin Alsop leads the BSO through pieces by Mussorgsky, Mathis der Maler, and Dave and Chris Brubeck.

The Vagina Monologues

$10, MICA affiliates $5. MICABBOX, Baltimore.

Feb. 14 is usually a day for Hallmark-y romance, but since 1998 it has also become V-Day, an international movement to end violence against women. Pre-V-Day, Maryland Institute College of Art affiliates take to the stage with V-Day founder Eve Ensler's Obie Award-winning play, The Vagina Monologues. A celebration of female sexuality from start to climax, the monologues begin with Ensler's thoughts on pubic hair and progress to the career details of a dominatrix whose main desire is to give other women pleasure. Proceeds benefit TurnAround Inc., a local non-profit that works to prevent violence in the community. (Phoebe Bright)

BIG's Brushed Hearts Valentine's Improv

$12, CA members $10. Creative Alliance at the Patterson, Baltimore.

A night of Baltimore Improv Group's heart-shaped box of funny with special guest, Jen Seidel the Body Painter (pictured), for box decorating and nips beyond blushing. (Wendy Ward)

Baltimore Symphony Orchestra: Pictures of Music

$45-$75. Meyerhoff Symphony Hall, Baltimore.

Through Feb. 13, 8 p.m., also 11:30 a.m. and 7 p.m. Saturday, Meyerhoff Symphony Hall, 1212 Cathedral St., (410) 783-8000, bso.org, $42-$75. We have mixed feelings about these symphony theme nights, but if they get patrons in seats and lead to programs as varied and interesting as this one, you won't hear us grumble. Maestra Marin Alsop leads the BSO through three pieces that relate to visual art; yes, Mussorgsky's concert-hall warhorse Pictures at an Exhibition is on tap, but so is Paul Hindemith's relatively undersung, Grünewald-inspired Mathis der Maler symphony and the East Coast premiere of Ansel Adams: America, an expansive new composition by father-and-son team Dave and Chris Brubeck (yes, that Dave Brubeck). It's a good look. Saturday 13 (Lee Gardner)