City Paper's drinking game for tonight's Republican primary presidential debate

The entertainment TV event of the season is finally here: The Republican primary presidential debate will air tonight at 9 p.m. on Fox News. With noted clowns Ben Carson and Donald Trump in the mix, it's bound to make for amazing television no matter what. But to make the debates a little more enjoyable/tolerable, the City Paper staff has come up with a few drinking game rules for you.

We strongly encourage you to pick only a few of your favorites to drink by during the debateā€”if you follow all of these rules, you'll probably die of alcohol poisoning. City Paper cannot be held responsible for any liver damage that occurs as a result of this debate. You have been warned.

  • If a candidate uses the word "illegal" as a descriptor for people, take a drink.
  • If a candidate says the word "bootstraps," drink.
  • If Chris Christie talks about punching the teachers union in the face, punch the person to your left and finish their drink.
  • If a candidate references Ayn Rand, yell "who is John Galt?", then drink.
  • Every time the Iran deal comes up, drink.
  • If a candidate says the word "freedom," drink.
  • Every time Ben Carson makes you ashamed of Baltimore, take a drink of a Boh (or an actual locally brewed beer).
  • If a candidate claims a minority group loves them, finish your drink.
  • If a candidate makes a reference to "the party of Lincoln," take a shot of Kentucky bourbon.
  • If a candidate makes a reference to "the party of Ronald Reagan," drink a glass of California white wine.
  • If a candidate says some version of the phrase "wage stagnation," do a spit-take.
  • If a candidate says "all lives matter," take a sip out of every person's drink in the room.
  • Every time guns or the Second Amendment are brought up, do a shooter.
  • If Chris Christie talks about using birth control, and "not just the rhythm method," drink moonshine until you go blind in an effort to erase that mental image.
  • If Mike Huckabee accuses trans people of being sexual predators and just comes across as a sexual predator, drink very slowly from your drink while making creepy uncomfortable eye contact with the person to your left.
  • If a candidate uses the phrase "clean coal," take a shot of Tennessee whiskey (made according to the Lincoln County Process).

If you're looking for a bar to play this drinking game at, Atomic Books is hosting a "Democalypse 2016" viewing party at 9 p.m. and Liam Flynn's is hosting a "Parade of the Horribles," also at 9 p.m. On the other end of the political spectrum, Log Cabin Republicans, the Baltimore City Republican Central Committee, and Millennial Maryland are co-hosting a viewing party at Ropewalk Tavern. As the invitation kindly notes, "Everyone pays their own way (we are Republicans after all) but there is no purchase necessary to participate."

Copyright © 2018, Baltimore City Paper, a Baltimore Sun Media Group publication | Privacy Policy