311 Is A Joke

Photo Illustration by Athena Towery. (August 18, 2014)

Headed back from our morning coffee run today we noticed a large, sweet-looking black and white pit bull walking off the curb into the path of our car. The animal had no collar, looked a little scruffy, confused, and its face was scraped up, so, figuring it to be a stray dog, we decided to be Good Citizens and call 311, with the intention of getting connected with Animal Control so maybe somebody will come by and scoop up this wayward pooch, because we ain't no Dog Whisperer, we haz cat. The wait time for our call was brief, but when we described the situation to the 311 operator, she told us Animal Control would not respond, since the animal was simply "at large" and not threatening anyone. "OK," we say, "so do you have any advice for me in this situation? I mean, if I go out and try and grab it and it threatens me, does that mean I can report it then?" The operator replied to the effect of "no way am I telling you to do that,” and also that the location we reported, the corner of Elsa Terrace and 42nd Street, wouldn't work anyway, because it is not an "exact address," to wit, a house number. She also confirmed there was nothing she could do. So hey, if anybody wants a free pit bull, there's one wandering around Medfield. Thanks 311!