Fans celebrate Team USA's win over Ghana

Fans celebrate Team USA's win over Ghana (Helgi Olgiersson / June 17, 2014)

We’re not sure if you’ve heard, but there’s this little tournament going on called the World Cup. Nations spend four years qualifying so they can spend 90 minutes sweating in the Brazilian heat as they flop their way towards victory. The good ol’ boys from our United States of ‘MURCA have done pretty good—considering no one gave them a chance—and tomorrow at noon they’ll have a chance to make it into the next round when they take on Germany. Translation: this is your excuse to skip work, dress like an obnoxious American, and drink All. Damn. Day. USA! USA! USA!

Here are some good places to git ‘er done:

De Kleine Duviel – Ok, so maybe not the most American of bars, but they have over 150 Belgian beers and a giant projector screen with ample seating. We hear games (matches, for you soccer snobs out there) have been insane to watch here, especially during the Saturday of Hon Fest, where allegedly it was so packed they ran out of beer and couldn’t let anyone else in. Specials will be posted on the bar tomorrow. You might even see City Paper columnist Jim Meyer.

Max’s – We stopped by here to catch Sundays USA vs. Portugal game, where the high octane and outlandish beers made for the perfect partner for the match. It didn’t hurt that the crowd was packed and electric throughout the game, without being annoyingly so. Said beers made it a bit easier to swallow the pain after Portugal ripped out our hearts with that last second goal. They’ve been running specials on select drafts during the entire world cup and get bonus points for having enough TVs to see the critical Portugal/Ghana match going on at the same time.

Smaltimore – Surprisingly huge into soccer, this Canton bar with ample taps and TVs has proclaimed itself Baltimore’s World Cup headquarters. Not sure if that’s true, but considering the stock-exchange-pricing-scheme for their beers (the potential to enjoy a Stillwater for $5.50? Yes please) and their impossibly cheap specials, this is as good a place as any to supplant your work day with thoughts of ABV’s instead of ROI’s. The sushi and tater tots will help soak it all up.

The Admiral’s Cup – If Max’s is too busy for you, head across the street to The Admirals Cup where they also have lots of TVs and promise you’ll be able to hear that “GOAAAL” in surround sound (we’ve found volume to be pretty bad at most bars). They’re offering $5 caipirinhas, Brazil’s DELICIOUS national cocktail made with cachaca, a liquor (sadly) not often stocked at most bars. Think of it as a boozier, not-as-sweet, and ultimately, better mojito—tread lightly. For every game attended, you’ll receive a raffle ticket and during the final match you’ll have a chance to win jerseys, tournament balls, and Kali’s Court GCs.

Sláinte – If you’re prepared to get in line at around 8AM to get inside by game time and want to truly be in the heart of hard core American futbol-dom, this is your spot. Unofficial headquarters to the Baltimore Brigade (the local chapter of the US Soccer support group The American Outlaws), this fells bar had a line around the block Sunday afternoon.

Americans love authenticity and this is as authentic as they come. A couple years ago during the women’s world cup final we went from being wet-behind-the-ears fans to traveling with the Brigade for a game against Mexico. Specials include $3 Heineken, Heineken Light, Amstel Light, Newcastle, Strongbow Cider, $14 Heineken buckets and $5 Leblon Cachaca cocktails. Not sure about drinking Heineken all day, but we’ll bite on those cachaca cocktails.

Delia Foley’s – If you’re looking to play hooky without the guilt, consider this “Networking Event”—hosted by The Downtown Partnership – to be as close to a doctor’s note as you’re gonna get. They’re advertising free wings, but get there early before they run out because Delia’s has some of the best in the city. Drink specials will be posted at the bar.

Mother’s – With the purple patio in hibernation, this fed hill mega-bar is looking to create the same vibe for the red white and blue. While they’re keeping the party inside with $2.50 Bud Lights and $3.50 Stellas, we’re sure if the USA moves on there will be some antics that carry out into the street. Maybe not Ravens winning the super bowl mobs, but it’ll surely be a party.

Power Plant Live – Ok, ok, we know.  It’s power plant.  BUT, they have a massive (covered) 20 foot outdoor screen where you can roam freely from bar to bar among what’s sure to be a pretty big crowd. If you’re looking for Baltimore’s equivalent to the fans you’ve seen losing their shit at Chicago’s Grant Park, this is your best bet. Specials include $3 Redd’s Apple Ale, Miller Lite, and Blue Moon. You can also sign up online to get free VIP access, which includes a complimentary event pint cup, express entry, 25% off beer refills and larger 16 oz. pours. Boat shoes not required.