Dan Savage

Columnist Savage Love

Recent Articles

  • Savage Love: Ballers

    Savage Love: Ballers

    I've been reading your column for a while, and you always advise kinky people to go seek the same within the kink community. But in my experience, the kink community is very "sex right away, get to know you later"-oriented. So I have two questions. First, as someone who's a bit of an old-fashioned...

  • Savage Love: High Times

    Savage Love: High Times

    Does a person who acts loving only when high on weed really love you? My live-in boyfriend of three years acts sweet, loving, and caring when he's high, but when the weed runs out, he's mean, angry, hurtful, and horrible to be around. I've asked him when he's stoned to still act like a loving person...

  • Savage Love: Girl Party

    Savage Love: Girl Party

    I have always wanted to have a girls-only sex party, but I'm not sure how I feel about actually organizing one. What's the etiquette if I do organize one myself? Do I need to provide the dildos for people's harnesses? Or just the condoms and lube? And how do I find people who want to attend? Do...

  • Savage Love: Quick Hits

    Savage Love: Quick Hits

    I have been happily married for 12 years. I’m deeply in love with my wife—she’s amazing, very sexy, and gorgeous. I used to be jealous, but about six years ago, I lost my feelings of jealousy. In their place, I developed a strong desire to share my wife with other men. It’s my only fantasy. She...

  • Disunion

    I entered into a civil union with another woman in Vermont in 2000. My ex and I were together until 2003, when we decided to go our separate ways. It is now 2015, and my new partner (who happens to be male) and I are expecting a baby and talking about getting married. We live in Texas. I know that...

  • Gymnastics

    Gymnastics

    This is going to sound like bragging, but my appearance is intrinsic to my kink. I’m a gay male gymnast. Most of the guys on my college team are annoyed by the kind of objectification we routinely come in for. (We actually don’t want to be auctioned off at yet another sorority fundraiser, thanks.)...

  • Savage Love: Better Off Without

    Savage Love: Better Off Without

    I am a male grad student who is technically engaged to a female grad student. She has numerous positive qualities, but she is repulsed by sex. She is very sensitive about her repulsion and becomes distraught when I broach the subject. She says that even the thought of doing anything sexual with...

  • Savage Love: Jackhammer

    Savage Love: Jackhammer

    Jackhammer My boyfriend and I both spent a lot of time masturbating when we were young, and pretty much trained our brains to come only one way. He can only come from masturbating furiously, or sometimes from a marathon of jackhammer sex. A few years before I met him, I toned down the masturbating...

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