ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the coming weeks, I hope you won't scream curses at the rain, demanding that it stop falling on you. Similarly, I suggest you refrain from punching walls that seem to be hemming you in, and I beg you not to spit into the wind when it's blowing in your face. Here's an oracle about how to avoid counterproductive behavior like that: The near future will bring you useful challenges and uncanny blessings if you're willing to consider the possibility that everything coming your way will in some sense be an opportunity.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Oh how I wish you might receive the grace of being pampered and nurtured and entertained and prayed for. I'd love for you to assemble a throng of no-strings-attached caretakers who would devote themselves to stoking your healing and delight. Maybe they'd sing to you as they gave you a manicure and massaged your feet and paid your bills. Or perhaps they would cook you a gourmet meal and clean your house as they told you stories about how beautiful you are and all the great things you're going to do in the future. Is it possible to arrange something like that even on a modest scale? You're in a phase of your astrological cycle when you most need this kind of doting attention—and when you have the greatest power to make it happen.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I invite you to dream about your true home... your sweet, energizing, love-strong home... the home where you can be high and deep, robust and tender, flexible and rigorous... the home where you are the person that you promised yourself you could be. To stimulate and enhance your brainstorms about your true home, experiment with the following activities: Feed your roots... do maintenance work on your power spot... cherish and foster your sources... and refine the magic that makes you feel free. Can you handle one more set of tasks designed to enhance your domestic bliss? Tend to your web of close allies... take care of what takes care of you... and adore the intimate connections that serve as your foundation.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): It'll be one of those rapid-fire, adjust-on-the-fly, think-on-your-feet, go-with-your-gut times for you—a head-spinning, endorphin-generating, eye-pleasing, intelligence-boosting phase when you will have opportunities to relinquish your attachments to status quos that don't serve you. Got all that? There'll be a lot of stimuli to absorb and integrate—and luckily for you, absorbing and integrating a lot of stimuli will be your specialty. I'm confident of your ability to get the most of upcoming encounters with cute provocations, pleasant agitation, and useful unpredictability. One more tip: Be vigilant and amused as you follow the ever-shifting sweet spot.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): At the risk of asking too much and pushing too hard, my Guerrilla Prayer Warriors have been begging God to send you some major financial mojo. These fierce supplicants have even gone so far as to suggest to the Supreme Being that maybe She could help you win the lottery or find a roll of big bills lying in the gutter or be granted a magic wish by an unexpected benefactor. "Whatever works!" is their mantra. Looking at the astrological omens, I'm not sure that the Prayer Warriors' extreme attempts will be effective. But the possibility that they will be is definitely greater than usual. To boost your odds, I suggest you get more organized and better educated about your money matters. Set a clear intention about the changes you'd like to put in motion during the next ten months.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Suggested experiments: 1. Take a vow that from now on you won't hide your beauty. 2. Strike a deal with your inner king or inner queen, guaranteeing that this regal part of gets regular free expression. 3. Converse with your Future Self about how the two of you might collaborate to fully unleash the refined potency of your emotional intelligence. 4. In meditations and dreams, ask your ancestors how you can more completely access and activate your dormant potentials.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I hope you are not forlorn, shivery, puzzled, or obsessive right now—unless being in such a state will mobilize you to instigate the overdue transformations you have been evading. If that's the case, I hope you are forlorn, shivery, puzzled, and obsessive. Feelings like those may be the perfect fuel—the high-octane motivation that will launch your personal renaissance. I don't often offer this counsel, so I advise you to take full advantage: Now is one of the rare times when your so-called negative emotions can catalyze redemption.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): From what I can tell, your vigor is peaking. In recent weeks, you have been sturdy, hearty, stout, and substantial. I expect this surge of strength to intensify in the near future—even as it becomes more fluid and supple. In fact, I expect that your waxing power will teach you new secrets about how to wield your power intelligently. You may break your previous records for compassionate courage and sensitive toughness. Here's the best news of all: You're likely to be dynamic about bestowing practical love on the people and animal and things that are important to you.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The odds are higher than usual that you will be offered a boost or promotion in the coming weeks. This development is especially likely to occur in the job you're doing or the career plans you've been pursuing. It could also be a factor at work in your spiritual life. You may discover a new teacher or teaching that could lift you to the next phase of your inner quest. There's even a chance that you'll get an upgrade on both fronts. So it's probably a good time to check on whether you're harboring any obstacles to success. If you find that you are, DESTROY THOSE RANCID OLD MENTAL BLOCKS WITH A BOLT OF PSYCHIC LIGHTNING.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The cosmos seems to be warming up to your charms. The stinginess it displayed toward you for a while is giving way to a more generous approach. To take advantage of this welcome development, you should shed any fear-based beliefs you may have adopted during the recent shrinkage. For instance, it's possible you've begun to entertain the theory that the game of life is rigged against you, or that it is inherently hard to play. Get rid of those ideas. They're not true, and clinging to them would limit the game of life's power to bring you new invitations. Open yourself up wherever you have closed down.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Are any of your allies acting like they've forgotten their true purpose? If so, you have the power to gently awaken them from their trances and help them re-focus. Is it possible you have become a bit too susceptible to the influences of people whose opinions shouldn't really matter that much to you? If so, now is a good time to correct that aberration. Are you aware of having fallen under the sway of trendy ideas or faddish emotions that are distorting your relationship with your primal sources? If so, you are hereby authorized to free yourself from their hold on you.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Now would be a favorable time to reveal that you are in fact a gay socialist witch who believes good poetry provides a more reliable way to understand reality than the opinions of media pundits—unless, of course, you are not a gay socialist witch, etc., in which case you shouldn't say you are. But I do advise you to consider disclosing as much as possible of your true nature to anyone with whom you plan to be intimately linked in the future and who is missing important information about you. It's high time to experiment with being more completely yourself.
Homework: What would the people who love you best say is the most important thing for you to learn? Testify at Truthrooster@gmail.com.